Blue Christmas is More Than An Elvis Presley Song by Anna Taylor Sweringin

Happy Holidays is a beautiful sentiment if the holidays aren’t a time of grief and loss for you. The themes of the Advent wreath – hope, peace, joy and love – can feel very far off if you’re experiencing a dark night of the soul while everyone around you is singing “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.” Platitudes and cliches only deepen the sense of isolation one feels when everyone else is cheerful and you’re not.

That’s why when I became responsible for pastoral care at First Presbyterian Church in Jamaica, Queens, I developed a Blue Christmas service. Usually held on December 21 (the longest night of the year) Blue Christmas services create safe space for those who for whom the holidays is, and may always be, sad. These services remind us it really is alright to cry because crying makes us feel better. These services say God is present with you, blessing your tears, holding your hurt in God’s hands.

A typical service follows the regular order of worship one might find on a Sunday morning, but with some significant differences.

I choose songs that remind attendees they are not forgotten. Standards like “Be Not Dismayed Whate’er Betide, God Will Take Care of You” and “I’m So Glad Trouble Don’t Last Always” are sung loudly and proudly but without condescension. Responsive prayers are said which acknowledge with dignity the sorrow and pain of loss. Litanies are recited whose words dispel any sense of blame, shame or guilt. Old Testament scriptures emphasize that the journey from darkness to light is a normal part of life.

Readings from the Psalms emphasize lament, like Psalm 22, “My God, My God why hast thou forsaken me?” to help attendees realize they’re not the first in this situation. Jesus spoke these words from the cross. They also lift up the truth that God’s power is at their disposal as expressed in the 23rd and 121st Psalms. New Testament scriptures like Romans 8:26 which assures us the Spirit helps us in our weakness. Meditations written by those whose meditations are based on her own experience with suffering make the message shared one that is authentic and relatable.

In our service attendees are invited to come forward and light candles for each loss that is on their heart. This small act of agency demonstrates that even when we feel powerless, we do have power. Then as a reverse offering, glass stones with scripture on them lay in the offering plate for them to take as a reminder that God’s word is always within reach.

Here are links to two sample services. You’ll see one size does not fit all, but each service attempts to serve the emotional needs of those present:

https://www.umcdiscipleship.org/resources/blue-christmas-a-service-of-reflection-for-the-longest-night,

https://youngclergywomen.org/blue-christmas-service-when-christmas-hurts/

If you’ve never attended a Blue Christmas service, consider doing so. You will come away with insights and resources that could make you a source of light and genuine comfort for someone going through a rough time.

Anna Taylor Sweringen lives in New Mexico with her husband and their rescue cat Scully. She writes inspirational romance as Anna Taylor, gothic/ghost stories as Anna M. Taylor and steamy historicals as Michal Scott. She blogs monthly on Delilah Devlin’s blog where she shares bits of history about African-American women. You can follow Anna as Michal Scott on Twitter @mscottauthor1 and @revannable or as Anna M. Taylor on FB at https://www.facebook.com/annamtaylorAuthor.