Now It Begins by Navi Vernon

Ah, Christmas. It's at our throats again. Yes, I know we’re gearing up for the big kick-off to the most joyous season of all. Yes, I hear the chorus of reminders that we should focus on Jesus as “the reason for the season.” Yes, I know it’s our big chance to be good humans, smile serenely, give generously, and clasp hands with random strangers as we sing peace, love, and understanding in perfect harmony. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Does it really work that way for you? If so, I am in awe. Maybe we could meet over coffee sometime so you can share your secrets. As for me, my dread of the frenzy between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day begins around Halloween. Before the little goblins even take off their masks, I sense its coming, the rush to shop, coordinate calendars, clean, prepare, smile. Each year I vow to have all plans and presents in place long before the next year’s H O L I D A Y S. Each year, I fail miserably, scrambling at the last minute to gather wish lists and beseech my old buddy Amazon to come to the rescue. Again.

As a kid, Christmas was simple and magical. The anticipation was excruciating, but in that giddy, can’t-wait kind of way. It seemed like every minute from decorations up to decorations down was filled with trips to grandparents, cousins, candy, late bedtimes, and animated specials on TV. My record player stayed stacked with 45s on repeat from Burl Ives, Brenda Lee, and The Chipmunks. A shiny aluminum tree graced the corner of our living room. Even without the fancy rotating colored light wheel like the one my aunt and uncle had, it looked pretty fine with all the ornaments in place. I can still smell the cedar box that held my favorites—the dazzling trio of silver, gold, and bronze stars.

Christmas was still magical when our kids were little. There’s nothing like seeing Christmas through the eyes a child, is there? Wonder and delight at every turn. Giggles and hot chocolate. New flannel pajamas and a bedtime story.

Somewhere along the line, Santa’s sleigh bells began to dim a bit. Of course, grandkids still make Christmas special. I’d be a total Scrooge if I couldn’t see that. But, I don’t put as much effort into gift buying anymore. It seems like everyone already has so much. We all do. Maybe that’s part of the problem. We don’t need more things, we just need each other. Time is so much more important.

Holidays trigger depression in many people. Others may be facing the first holidays after a profound loss. Reach out. Be kind. Be patient. Show grace. Make a seat at the table. Let them talk. Listen as they share their memories. It will help them, immeasurably, and it will make you appreciate what you have right this minute.

In fact, now that I think about it, I have nothing to complain about. I am surrounded by love. The dread comes from the stress to make it all perfect. Note to self: Forget Perfect. Enjoy the moment, flawed though it may be.

Next year, we won’t buy gifts just to check them off a list. We’ll make an intentional plan and spend more time than money. Next year.

For now though, I’m pulling out the first Christmas box because I just remembered that one of the grandkids got me a new Santa last year! It needs to go in a place of honor. Oh my gosh! The littles will be here on Wednesday. They can help decorate the tree! Life is good. Even in the midst of chaos. Merry Christmas, you all. May every one of your Santas bring you joy.

Navi Vernon is a charter member of Black Dog Writers at Black Dog Coffee in  Logansport, Indiana. She speaks with a gentle, loving, and knowing voice. I'm so grateful to her for sharing it with us today. To find other essays by Navi, visit her blog. You won't be sorry you did.