I liked 2023. Well, maybe not that much. Not enough to be sorry to see it go. Like many others, I'm exhausted by its shenanigans. By politics as a whole. By the state of health care if you choose not to live in a metropolitan area. By J-turns and traffic circles for the aid and comfort of certain areas being more important than well kept roads for the rest of us.
But wait. Those things aren't the fault of the year that just passed. Although they are the fault of the times, and I guess that's really where the exhaustion comes in. The older you get, the more times you can remember and the faultier the memory becomes.
That's the thing about memory, isn't it? While it lends pleasure and knowledge and lots of oh, yeah moments, it also makes you revisit places you never wanted to go again. Things that hurt years ago still hurt. Things you thought you forgave...well, maybe you did, but forgetting's an entirely different thing, isn't it?
I've been writing this column all week and this is as far as I've gotten. We've had sickness in the house through the holidays and even though I've seen or talked to nearly everyone in the family, I feel a sense of disconnect, too.
I miss the house being full. I can't explain why it was harder this holiday season than ones in the past. Not only have our children flown the nest, most of their children have, too. Life is still fun and full (regardless of those empty spaces I'm whining about) of writing and music and living in a place we love to live.
So, fine, Liz, what is your problem?
There isn't one.
Life is good.
Although time goes so fast, the sun still rises and sets at the beginning and end of each day. I know I've said that before, but sometimes I need to be reminded.
Just as I need to be reminded that even when those times are exhausting and hope seems like a distant pinpoint of light at the end of a very long and dark tunnel, there will be good times that usually outweigh the bad. For all the people who feel as if they owe nothing to humankind, there are more who know that we do. For all the people who spread hate, there are more who spread love. For all those who are greedy, there are more who are generous. For those who suggest that we "get over" the shooting of children, there are more who will never get over it. Those deaths have left behind houses that will never be full again.
I liked 2023 okay. So far, I'm not impressed by 2024, but I'm willing and wanting to be wrong about that. I leave you with an apology for my inability to dredge up happy thoughts tonight.
But this won't post until Saturday morning, when the sun will come up again. When we can start again and remind ourselves that life is good.
Have a great week. Be nice to somebody.
No "happy thoughts" needed. Your words are REAL. The truth is we all feel like this sometimes. You make us feel less alone. Don't apologize.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I never like not feeling positive, but sometimes...
DeleteAlways a good read thank you
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteIf you never had doubts and negative thoughts how would you be able to properly appreciate hope and positive ones when they appear?
ReplyDeleteThere's truth to that, but the negativity just feels so heavy. Sigh. Thanks for coming by!
DeleteThanks for sharing. I listened to a Linked In Learning once that explained that people spend more time rehashing the bad times in their lives instead of the good ones. We agonize, regret, stew, and so on. The message was that we should spend as much time ruminating over the good times. I try, and it helps, but human nature makes it difficult. Here's to positive rumination in 2024.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Roseann. I agree with that. Waking in the night seems to be my enemy, too; that is when the worries and "bad things" assail me, and I think I should be able to fix them! Lol. Like Kim says, though, if it weren't for the doubts and negative thoughts, we might not be able to appreciate the good!
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