Nana's Song by Debby Myers

For anyone who is Grandma, Meemaw, Mamaw, Gigi, or Nana like me, you’ll never forget the first day you met your first grandchild. It was surreal to think that your baby now had a baby of her own. Even more so, you are now able to turn back the clock and love another like no other. And that first one seems to be special.

My oldest daughter gave me my first granddaughter, and today she will graduate from high school. These 18 years have been magical for me. I’ve been there for every milestone, every dance, every audition, every performance, every game, every competition. (well, maybe not "every," but as many as I possibly could). My memories of her won’t stop spinning in my mind. And the next one will be watching her in her cap and gown getting her diploma.

This little girl who has encompassed so much of my life is a woman now. A woman. She is kind, compassionate, and giving. She is strong, smart, and confident. She’s about to venture out into this big, sometimes, bad, world on her own. In the fall, she will head to college. She will meet new friends in a new place. The problem I’m having is whether I should be happy or sad about that.

I’m an optimist, so I envision her becoming successful in her career, finding the man of her dreams, living in a beautiful home, and having a family of her own. The reality is not that simple. We know we all have had our share of roadblocks, heartache, and had to pinch every penny to survive.

Many have had children move far away, and I have been fortunate that none of mine have chosen to do that. It doesn’t mean it will be the same for her. And do I really want her to stay here, or do I want her to get out there and explore all the world has to offer? Well, the answer is both. Too bad we can’t have both.

I envision her being near me for as long as I live. Then I think back to my own grandparents. Hindsight is 20/20. Once I went to college, got a job, and had a family, I didn’t visit or talk to them like I had when I was young and in school. It didn’t occur to me then that I didn’t have time to put it off like I did. But I regret it now that they’re gone. They didn’t push me because they knew I had a new life to live. Now will I be strong enough to do that with her?

I know I will think of her every day, and I will call and text her as much as she’ll let me. I will worry about her. Is she safe? Does she need my help? And all the other questions that we let creep into our heads. She is experiencing mixed emotions of her own. Like me, she’s told me that at times she feels overjoyed and at times she feels frightened. I encourage her to let the joy trump the fear. Can someone encourage me?

I will miss her – her laugh, her hugs, our talks, and her random visits. I will miss watching her on stage in a play and on the field directing the band. My pride for her stretches through all the years since I first held her, and I have no doubt I will continue to feel that as she moves on. I knew this time would come that I would have to let her go soar, but it feels like it came too soon. 

I don’t want this to sound like it’s all about me. It’s not. It’s about a Nana’s love for her grandchild. And all the others feeling the same way about their grandchildren who are becoming graduates. It’s about being thrilled and uncertain at the same time. Knowing the time has come for us to pivot and adapt to a different kind of relationship.

Congrats to all the graduates. Remember to be confident in who you are. It doesn’t matter if you fall down, it matters if you get back up. If you need help, ask, ask, ask. Your road to success is under construction, so get out there and build it!

And to my Makenna – remember when you get the chance to sit it out or dance – I hope you dance! Love you pretty girl!

~*~*~

Debby Myers has enjoyed writing since she was a little girl. She has just completed her third novel, the last installment of “The Vee Trilogy.”

In her spare time she directs plays for Ole Olsen Memorial Theater. She is a member of the Indiana Thespians judging high school theater competitions. Debby’s favorite pastime of all is spending time with her nine grandchildren.

Her books are all available now on Amazon or get a signed copy directly from her by contacting her on her Facebook page “The Vee Trilogy.”