 |
| Photo by Erica Freeman |
My hair color comes from a box.
Actually? My HAIR comes from a box. Essentially, my stylist is the UPS guy. I’ve worn wigs for the last twenty some years, and I wanted to share some of my story.
When I was 16, I went in for a haircut. My hair was thick at the time. My stylist would always say she could thin it out and it would still be two heads’ worth of hair. But at this haircut, she asked me if I knew I had a dime-sized bald spot on my head. I honestly hadn’t noticed it. We decided to get it checked out, just in case.
The doctors ran a variety of tests. I had to have an ultrasound and bloodwork, as hair loss can be caused by a variety of reasons, many of them indicating more serious health issues. What it ended up being was alopecia. You may have heard a little bit about this in the news recently, but back then, I had never heard of it.
Not much is known about what triggers alopecia, but they do know that once it starts, your immune system sees your hair follicles as foreign bodies and begins to attack them. Specifically, I have Alopecia areata universalis, which affects the entire body. Leg hair, arm hair, eyelashes, eyebrows, even down to nose and ear hair.
At the time, though, it was just a small circle on my otherwise thick head of hair. One bald patch became two, two became three, and then I finally began to notice it elsewhere when half of one eyebrow began to fall out.
Between my junior and senior year of high school, the loss had increased to the point that I decided to get a wig. I had actually been quite candid with my classmates about my hair loss during the previous year, but many still didn’t suspect that I was wearing a wig when I returned to school.
Looking back, I have made some. . . questionable wig choices. This one wasn’t that bad, for a first-time user. It was short and blond, and didn’t really draw that much attention, but then, being the dramatic soul that I am, I decided I wanted a long, curly red wig. The first week I wore it to school, some guy bullied me in the hallway. Shortly after, a kind teacher randomly complimented me on my new hair color, not knowing about the incident that had occurred moments before. I ran to the bathroom and cried.
It wasn’t the first or last time I cried over my hair loss. Hair is really tied to women’s identity in most cultures. How many ads have you seen where the gorgeous model has her lustrous waves blowing in the wind? And there was I looking like a potato at rest. Anyway, I do remember that bullying incident fairly clearly, but I also remember the number of people who came to my defense against that jerk. My supporters vastly outmatched my detractors. Even people whom I was not particularly close to offered their support. I count myself lucky to have that environment when I was going through my formative years with my hair loss.
The first month or so at college, I would wear my wig down to the dorm bathrooms and wrap my bare head in a towel turban so that no one would know my secret. It took many years to come to the point where I felt comfortable letting people know that part of me. Many more years passed before I finally began to feel beautiful in my own skin.
When I lived in NYC, I regularly celebrated Hairless July and August, as it was too dang hot on the subway to deal with wearing what essentially feels like a sock cap on a crowded, sweaty subway. These days, I wear a wig most of the time. Not because I’m embarrassed, but just so I don’t have to deal with questions from every Tom, Dick, and Harry that I encounter on a daily basis.
I’m more than willing to share my story with people one on one, I just don’t want it to always be the first thing people notice about me. My pasty dome can be a bit of a distraction. I do, however, go without my hair when I’m out and about, specifically in the summertime. I’m very frequently told how “brave” I am.
While I appreciate this sentiment, I long for the day when women can step out of the house looking however it is that they ACTUALLY look, and feel confident and like their best version of them. I shouldn’t have to be brave to look the way I do. Yes, it is unusual, and yes, I certainly have plenty of moments where I wish I was “normal,” but this is just how I am. And I'm okay with that.
Below, I’ve compiled some tips I’ve gathered over the years, in regards to Baldie Beauty. They are not at all comprehensive, and I’m by no means an expert, but I wish I had had something like this when I first began this journey.
I make most of my wig purchases online. I've used Vogue wigs and Wigs.com with good results. There are, of course, varying levels of quality of wigs available, so read the descriptions and reviews carefully.
I tend to buy synthetic rather than real hair. Aside from being less expensive, they hold their style better and require less upkeep.
Long wigs and curly wigs also require much more upkeep. I tend to go no longer than shoulder length. I do find that short (less than chin length) curly wigs often look the most “wiggy.”
Bear in mind when purchasing a wig, many don't have a crown that will allow you to do any sort of crisp part. If that's a look you desire, go for a skin top wig.
A lace-front wig will allow a natural looking hairline. Be sure to get a lace that matches your skin tone. (There are many wigs that are made specifically for African Americans, for example, and the lace would not blend in with my pasty whiteness.)
As far as brows and lashes, I use Clinique brow powder with a Smashbox angled brow brush. The long handle allows for more control. The powder will definitely last through a normal day. If you are doing something more strenuous, you might keep it in your purse for touch ups. If you sweat, DON'T RUB that area. They might fade slightly, but they won't come off unless you rub them.
I usually start with a very thin brow on each side so that I can make sure they are even before filling them out.
I use a Revlon twist-up eyeliner in brown black, although lately I've been trying out L'Oreal's Le Liner with great results. I line the top and bottom of my lids and I find the twist-up will go on more smoothly closer to my lash line than a pencil would.
I save the false lashes for special occasions, and even then, only my upper lid.
The most important tip: LOVE YOURSELF AS YOU ARE. My friend Ambyr and her partner Justin wrote a song that I like to listen to on repeat. The chorus gently encourages to “tell yourself you love you.” Do it. Love YOU. Even if you feel like a potato at rest on occasion, that doesn’t mean that you can’t be a hot potato.
Emily Perkins has always had a penchant for the dramatics and graduated from the American Musical and Dramatic Academy with a certificate in the performing arts. Since returning to her hometown of Wabash, she has enjoyed performing in many community theatre productions around the area, as well as a few professional gigs. For her day gig, she works as an optician at Family Optometry in the great little community of Peru. She's a proud Auntie and has a pretty decent boyfriend. If you are experiencing hair loss and have questions for her, get her contact info from Liz.
Actually? My HAIR comes from a box. Essentially, my stylist is the UPS guy. I’ve worn wigs for the last twenty some years, and I wanted to share some of my story.
When I was 16, I went in for a haircut. My hair was thick at the time. My stylist would always say she could thin it out and it would still be two heads’ worth of hair. But at this haircut, she asked me if I knew I had a dime-sized bald spot on my head. I honestly hadn’t noticed it. We decided to get it checked out, just in case.
The doctors ran a variety of tests. I had to have an ultrasound and bloodwork, as hair loss can be caused by a variety of reasons, many of them indicating more serious health issues. What it ended up being was alopecia. You may have heard a little bit about this in the news recently, but back then, I had never heard of it.
Not much is known about what triggers alopecia, but they do know that once it starts, your immune system sees your hair follicles as foreign bodies and begins to attack them. Specifically, I have Alopecia areata universalis, which affects the entire body. Leg hair, arm hair, eyelashes, eyebrows, even down to nose and ear hair.
At the time, though, it was just a small circle on my otherwise thick head of hair. One bald patch became two, two became three, and then I finally began to notice it elsewhere when half of one eyebrow began to fall out.
 |
| My first wig |
Between my junior and senior year of high school, the loss had increased to the point that I decided to get a wig. I had actually been quite candid with my classmates about my hair loss during the previous year, but many still didn’t suspect that I was wearing a wig when I returned to school.
Looking back, I have made some. . . questionable wig choices. This one wasn’t that bad, for a first-time user. It was short and blond, and didn’t really draw that much attention, but then, being the dramatic soul that I am, I decided I wanted a long, curly red wig. The first week I wore it to school, some guy bullied me in the hallway. Shortly after, a kind teacher randomly complimented me on my new hair color, not knowing about the incident that had occurred moments before. I ran to the bathroom and cried.
It wasn’t the first or last time I cried over my hair loss. Hair is really tied to women’s identity in most cultures. How many ads have you seen where the gorgeous model has her lustrous waves blowing in the wind? And there was I looking like a potato at rest. Anyway, I do remember that bullying incident fairly clearly, but I also remember the number of people who came to my defense against that jerk. My supporters vastly outmatched my detractors. Even people whom I was not particularly close to offered their support. I count myself lucky to have that environment when I was going through my formative years with my hair loss.
The first month or so at college, I would wear my wig down to the dorm bathrooms and wrap my bare head in a towel turban so that no one would know my secret. It took many years to come to the point where I felt comfortable letting people know that part of me. Many more years passed before I finally began to feel beautiful in my own skin.
 |
| Photo by Justin Schuman |
When I lived in NYC, I regularly celebrated Hairless July and August, as it was too dang hot on the subway to deal with wearing what essentially feels like a sock cap on a crowded, sweaty subway. These days, I wear a wig most of the time. Not because I’m embarrassed, but just so I don’t have to deal with questions from every Tom, Dick, and Harry that I encounter on a daily basis.
I’m more than willing to share my story with people one on one, I just don’t want it to always be the first thing people notice about me. My pasty dome can be a bit of a distraction. I do, however, go without my hair when I’m out and about, specifically in the summertime. I’m very frequently told how “brave” I am.
While I appreciate this sentiment, I long for the day when women can step out of the house looking however it is that they ACTUALLY look, and feel confident and like their best version of them. I shouldn’t have to be brave to look the way I do. Yes, it is unusual, and yes, I certainly have plenty of moments where I wish I was “normal,” but this is just how I am. And I'm okay with that.
Below, I’ve compiled some tips I’ve gathered over the years, in regards to Baldie Beauty. They are not at all comprehensive, and I’m by no means an expert, but I wish I had had something like this when I first began this journey.
I tend to buy synthetic rather than real hair. Aside from being less expensive, they hold their style better and require less upkeep.
Long wigs and curly wigs also require much more upkeep. I tend to go no longer than shoulder length. I do find that short (less than chin length) curly wigs often look the most “wiggy.”
Bear in mind when purchasing a wig, many don't have a crown that will allow you to do any sort of crisp part. If that's a look you desire, go for a skin top wig.
A lace-front wig will allow a natural looking hairline. Be sure to get a lace that matches your skin tone. (There are many wigs that are made specifically for African Americans, for example, and the lace would not blend in with my pasty whiteness.)
I usually start with a very thin brow on each side so that I can make sure they are even before filling them out.
I use a Revlon twist-up eyeliner in brown black, although lately I've been trying out L'Oreal's Le Liner with great results. I line the top and bottom of my lids and I find the twist-up will go on more smoothly closer to my lash line than a pencil would.
I save the false lashes for special occasions, and even then, only my upper lid.
If you're smooching someone for long enough, you'll likely lose an eyebrow, so make sure that's a risk you're willing to take.
The most important tip: LOVE YOURSELF AS YOU ARE. My friend Ambyr and her partner Justin wrote a song that I like to listen to on repeat. The chorus gently encourages to “tell yourself you love you.” Do it. Love YOU. Even if you feel like a potato at rest on occasion, that doesn’t mean that you can’t be a hot potato.
~*~
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Emily, I can't thank you enough for opening the Window today. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing your story. You look beautiful with and without the wig. It's whats inside you that shines.
ReplyDeleteI've always thought you were classy and sassy just the way you are, Emily - with or without hair. You have some of the most gorgeous wigs I've seen and know how to wear them. My granddaughter, Makenna, still talks about how kind you were to her during 'Cole in Space.' It's what's inside that matters, but I understand now more than ever how being different can affect self worth. You are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteWhat a terrific attitude, Emily! Thanks for sharing your story! You look gorgeous, by the way!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story. Your attitude needs to be adopted by more people. Loving yourself Is a big part of being happy.
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